Depression is darkness. It's like being stuck in a tunnel but there's no light at the end of it. You feel so negative about yourself, life and the future. Everything seems meaningless and you see no point in anything. You feel numb so empty that you just feel like nothing. The feelings of joy and happiness are gone almost like someone has stolen them away from you. Your mind is like a battlefield so negative and so loud. The thoughts race and they're hard to control. The voice in your head shouts at you telling you how much of a burden you are etc. The feelings of self hate becomes stronger and this is depressions way of making you feel as if you're drowning even more unable to get out of that dark tunnel you are in. You find it hard to be around people that love you that you begin to push your family and friends away. You feel like a bad person but you just can't let them in to help you cant be seen as weak and that you've let them down. You're now alone in your room crying wanting this pain to end. You can't save yourself and nobody else can save you. You go to sleep and wake up the next again day fighting the same thoughts and feelings as you did the day before. Getting out of bed in the morning is hard because you just don't see the point you know the day will be shit anyway and why get up when your first thought in the morning is "I can't do this anymore." You wake up exhausted and it's like no matter how much sleep you get nothing will help fix that constant tiredness you feel. The negativity feels as if it's taking over and there's nothing you can do about it. You ask yourself " Does life have to always be like this?"
THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IS IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE. THERE IS HELP OUT THERE!!
Speak with your GP who can offer support and refer you to mental health services for appropriate treatment. There are different treatment options you can try it might take a while to find the right one and it can be frustrating but when you find the right one life will begin to become different. You don't have to suffer alone with this illness. Things may seem dark now but it can't remain like this forever right? Where there is light there is hope.....
