This weeks going ons & preop appointment date!

I've been on sick leave this week from work which has been a bit of a pain but I'm returning tomorrow night. H phoned today to see how I was doing which was lovely and asked if I wanted to just take tomorrow off as well but I insisted I'd come in and work but she said that it wouldn't be a problem if I wanted to take a whole week of leave until I feel 100%. Resting in bed is driving me up the wall there's only so much Netflix that someone can take. A wasn't in today but she's in tomorrow I haven't seen her in weeks as she's been off ill but she's hopefully phoning me tomorrow because I need to let her know about everything that's going on at the moment as she's my boss. I know her response will be better than the response was on Wednesday from one of the senior nurses for taking sick leave it was honestly like I'd murdered someone. I guess we were both lucky that I didn't tell her to piss off and instead said that " I couldn't help being unwell." 

 I ended up in out of hours at the hospital and got more antibiotics👎🏻  Two times this week when talking to doctors they're like " Okay so we're going to rule things out. Any chance that you think you could be pregnant?" I'm sitting thinking " I've done the urine sample for you and dipped it at work and there's the results in front of you it's clearly a UTI I'm not bloody pregnant!" Big shoutout to the guy from NHS24 though he was fab👍🏻 got me seen within the hour and today I'm feeling much better than I was.

So today the letter arrives from the hospital. I've got my preoperative assessment next Thursday
(3rd) of November. The operation could be 7-10 days after that appointment and that'll be around the time of my birthday. What a brilliant thing to happen when I'm turning 19 thanks body😠 Everything is overwhelming because it's moving so quickly. I'm scared about this surgery I'm not going to lie. My consultant has changed and I haven't met him yet and I now know he's doing a laparoscopy and will remove the endometriosis. I'm still unsure about the mirena coil option because ever since September with the "incident" after they put me on the hormone patch I'm scared to go back down the road of self-destruction. I had my doubts when this patch was introduced because I knew exactly how it would affect my mood and I was right and they didn't listen. I got a print out of a list of past/current medications I'm taking to give to the nurse and I was shocked at the amount of things that have been prescribed over the last 5 years for pain and hormonal purposes..... 15 different painkillers and 9 hormone treatments. Seeing that noted down on paper it's weird because it's so much and how annoying it must be to work out what to prescribe next and what painkiller will be effective.

My main fear about all this. People around me don't understand and think this will sound so stupid. I've spent months being told by consultants: "this pain is all in your head" it's hard because it's like they make you out to be like your going mad and this is all just in your imagination. If it was in my imagination I wouldn't be doubled over, throwing up and in agony. I wouldn't be crying to doctors about how bad things have gotten and Dr L having to put up with me. It emotionally breaks you down especially when someone else can't help validate something you are experiencing.

Ending on TWO positives💪🏻.... Graduation is soon📚🎓 I'm hoping I can make it because I want to turn up and show that a grade doesn't define my future and I know that my report was all based on real practice and I done the right thing doing what I did. I've got my dress sorted as well. I felt comfortable in this one because it didn't show off too much around my stomach as the other ones made the bloating look horrible.

I'm off my three week reviews with Dr L for now which is good because I didn't think she'd ever allow this to happen since September💪🏻 THIS IS PROGRESS!! I suppose the good thing is I know I can phone or request to see her at any point I feel things are slipping.