'Our goal should be to find a day where no woman has to fight against her own body'

The Endometriosis Debate took place in the Scottish Parliament today and I have to say I was so pleased that it was being discussed. The last endometriosis debate was 16 years ago! It was positive to see the MSP's taking an interest and each giving a 4 minute speech about the condition. The condition is very much misunderstood not just by health professionals but wider society. It's a common condition and affects so many but there's no awareness around it. Most women wait an average 6+ years for a diagnosis and is one that is seen as a "normal" thing that all women go through. 

I hope a day comes in the future were endometriosis can be diagnosed quicker and women don't have to go through the suffering in fighting to get a diagnosis. The average time for diagnosis is 7 years and it's hard trying to get professionals to listen to you when they don't have much awareness of the disease. The journey to diagnosis takes so long you meet different doctors and consultants and each have a different medical opinion and want to try different things. The only way to confirm an endometriosis diagnosis is through laparoscopic surgery. How much better would it be if it could be detected on a scan or through a blood test? More research is required to hopefully make this statement reality. The need to go through laparoscopic surgery and each recovery time is different the professionals say two weeks but in reality it can take six weeks to feel like you again. A woman shouldn't have to fight to be heard. It takes courage for someone to stand up and fight for their health and to be understood. No woman should be told that all of this pain is in her head or that she needs psychiatric help. The detrimental effects that can have on a woman are endless. We just want our experiences to be validated not dismissed in a hurtful way. We must keep in mind though that not all woman can stand up and fight for their health and be heard and those are the ones who struggle to get the correct information. The fight to gain the right help and support is hard enough. There is only two specialist centres in the whole of Scotland for endometriosis whereas it is just as common as diabetes. If it's just as common as diabetes why isn't everyone aware of the condition and how much of an impact it can have? It ruins relationships, affects fertility in some cases, causes pain and fatigue and depression to list a few and that's not all. This condition takes over some women's lives and take away that feeling of being in control of their own bodies. 

The vulnerability it brings. The negativity and the horrible side effects from the treatments. Before you think endometriosis is "just period pain" think again. You may not be able to see a women's suffering but behind this woman is pain and someone who's so bloody strong that she's trying to battle on. The days that flare ups occur and the pain medication becomes your best friend. The days stuck in bed with the hot water bottle in hope to get some relief from the pain. The days were wanting to surrender because you feel so defeated come but you remember you need to keep going because of responsibilities that you have. It brings depression with it and the feelings of self-hate being in a body that you try so hard to nourish and take care of but instead chooses to fight against you. This isn't the kind of live most people want but for us women with endometriosis it's what we have to deal with on a day to day basis.

Before anyone dismisses endometriosis or doesn't "believe" it's real think again. Our goal should be to find a day where no woman has to endure this and have to fight against her own body. We should be free from the pain and suffering endometriosis brings. 

Then I saw the light again...

Endometriosis. People still ask me what it is despite it being a common condition. People think it's just pain but it's not; the physical and mental side of it makes the condition a much harder battle to fight. Some days things can be going okay when pain is at bay and painkiller use is to a minimum. Then there's other days. The days of pain, being confined to bed rest because of exhaustion and the painkiller use having to be increased. This is half of what it's like to suffer from endometriosis. If I could try and describe the other sides of it I would.

When I was first told about the strong possibility of having endometriosis I felt alone. The words made life feel like it had come to a standstill. The anger attached because of how much I'd been dismissed and my symptoms seen as something "psychological" and not being validated. I knew nobody who had this condition which I'd never heard of. The hours after that appointment researching what endometriosis was. I saw C that same day and when she said to me " I've got that too" it had become the most comforting words I'd heard that day. To meet someone who could share the same struggle with me and not pretend to know what I was dealing with. To have someone who I could share this uncertain journey with and who'd be able to advise because they'd been where I was when first receiving a diagnosis. I found the processing of what I was dealing with hard. There were so many things that came into question fertility being the biggest one. When you're young you have dreams of what you want in life when you become an adult things like having your own children and bringing them up to be the best that they can possibly be. I'm going to be honest here but it was so overwhelming. The amount of misinformation I was given by professionals who clearly misunderstood the condition. The best thing I ever done was join online support groups and meeting other women who suffer from this horrendous condition. 

Those women who are also known as my endo sisters. They became my hope on the dark days and understand what I was thinking and feeling. To read posts from other women with the same fears as me. To finally not feeling ashamed of saying what I was thinking and hearing/seeing the words "me too." The girls who have become like family and who just get how much suffering we have to deal with and the things endometriosis does. My endo sisters are my biggest supporters and have been the light when I've been in the darkness💛🎗