"End Endo"

Things have been hard. I must admit. Endometriosis really has had a big impact on my body the last couple of weeks. The pain has unfortunately returned which is what we didn't want to happen. I've been meaning to write a blog post for a few weeks now but I just haven't been able to find the words. The hardest thing about this illness is just how much it impacts your life. I never thought at the age of 20 I'd be constantly battling a chronic illness, on so many different medications to manage pain and other horrible symptoms the condition causes. The endless hospital appointments and surgeries just to try and manage the condition and try and become pain free. I sometimes do wonder though; ” If this condition was diagnosed earlier would it have made a difference to how things are now?“

I know that probably doesn't make a difference but you do wonder.

No matter how hard it is I've learned that with this illness sometimes you have to be your own advocate. It's been hard having to fight for support as well and be the one explaining what is meant to happen with my care. One person that has been my absolute rock this last month has been the Endo Nurse J. I was able to phone for advice and then she spoke to Dr M and got me an appointment to be reseen and helped create a plan on how to manage in the meantime with the appointment being a couple of weeks away. There has been one time when the GP wanted to send me up to gynae triage at the hospital to be seen but I was determined to manage at home. I'm gonna admit though I'm nervous/scared about the appointment to be reseen because I don't know what other treatment options I have in order to manage this and there's a chance it'll be trial and error again. I'd been having a lot of urine-infection like symptoms that has been associated with the endometriosis. The fast heart rates, high temperature, pain, tiredness, nausea and headaches etc. It's been horrible I've had to go to out of hours and be seen by them and put on antibiotics just to try and manage the symptoms. The nurse I seen at OOH on Sunday was lovely and knew a lot about endo. I know that the medics probably see me as one of the 1 in 10 with endo but this nurse put herself in my shoes and her words were quite comforting in a way which is hard to explain. My parents have been great as well, When Im in the middle of a flare they must feel so helpless. It must be hard for them. There isn't much anybody can really do but they just be there❤️ They put up with the tears and all the frustration, keep an eye on me when I'm feeling rubbish, remind me to try and eat something even though I'm not up to having anything due to pain and nausea, taking me to appointments and hospital when needed but most of all trying to understand the condition.

I'm devastated by this illness and the impact it has on my life. I find it so hard knowing that this is something that isn't going to go away and something I'll be stuck with. It's so hard at times not to sink into despair, there are times when all I want to do is cry and that's okay but I know I can't let myself sink deeper than that. There's the things that keep me going like family, friends and the Endo community💛🎗 Some days I'm just too exhausted to fight this illness but I know I must keep going. I know the most important thing I need to do is raise awareness of this horrendous condition and make people aware of it. There's such a taboo around reproductive health and that MUST change. I'm not afraid to speak out about endometriosis I am 1 in 10.